The Lack Of Interest

So, today I'm gonna tell my story by using English's language. I'm really sorry if my grammar is still broken and whatsoever i don't care blablabla

I have discover this about myself, well its not so pleasant but finally i know what is my problem. The damn thing that always in my ways. Its a "LACK OF INTEREST". How could i know this? I'm just try the birth date or zodiac or blood type things and its so accurate that i cannot really deny the truth of myself. Actually, i take a long time to type this thing on my blog but i procrastinate it because the truth is I'm always lack of interest. Now I'm interested to write because i have that 'interest',but even now the lack of interest is threatened to me as I'm kind of lacking. The ideas comes so much but i never get to jot it down because later i don't care about it.

What will happen when i'm really lacking, the worse thing you know what? I forgot people's name that have been with me for such a long time!! its like an amnesiac~ and I easily forgot what happen yesterday as my mind keep reminding useless thing and make me really forget the present or just a minute ago. That's terrible you know. What people will feel if i'm just forgeting their name but they remember you like a family or even best friends. I'm even forgetting my best friend names and classmates.
Do you know why i don't speak often? Well one of the reasons is,.. let me tell you that if i'm so quiet like a tombstone on a grave, perhaps i already don't remember you even you were chatting to me yesterday with so many enthusiastic thing about life. I FORGET, I FORGOT. I'm rarely remember anything. SO THATS WHY DON'T EXPECT ME TO TALK WITH YOU CHEERFULLY AS I'M ALREADY FORGETTING ABOUT EVERYTHING!

It is indeed the saddest thing to me as i keep losing friends. It just a friend for a day. No longer than that. I'm always lonely, Sometimes i'm crying because its too lonely. I guess they hate someone like me. I can't ever mingle with my classmates or even roomates properly. If there is a happy day, then that day is just a nice lucky day, but it only last for that day. Tomorrow will be too awkward. Hey! can I cure this? It just to bad that someday i can't stand it anymore. I'm afraid with myself that I might do the foolest thing in the world.

I'm not sure where this lacking come from. I keep losing my interest  and tends to switch to somethings else and then I will discard it as i don't feel any interest at all.

What i can tell you, this is one the reasons why i'm so anti-social nowadays because i'm afraid of forgetting you and it hurting me a lot as you leave me alone and never talk to me again. So, its better for me to be alone as i am getting used of it day by day. I'm sorry for my weak responses. I'm sorry if i'm hurting yours feeling. but i sincerely minds you as my friends even i forgot your names.